A new tactic to get a airline upgrade?

I laughed when I saw “I am very tall and really need some more space” in this article:

'Sir Richard Branson promised me'- Virgin Atlantic reveals unusual upgrade requests

Undoubtedly the top wish of any traveller is an upgrade, but let's face it: unless you shell out cash or miles, your chances are slim. But that doesn't stop some people from trying… [but they do]

Can I change to an exit row?

It reminded me of something overheard while waiting to board a flight from Auckland to LAX. I don’t sit in the gate lounge as leaving New Zealand a compulsory fourteen hour sit is just minutes away. While looking out a window near the gate counter I heard numerous requests for seating changes, upgrades, exit rows  etc. During a lull I suspect I wasn’t supposed to overhear one agent say to the other:

“It’s a pity they don’t make aircraft with all exit row spacing.

You wouldn’t fit many passengers, but they’d all be happy!

Based on a 777 seating layout image from Boeing.com

Will this get me an upgrade?

I have an idea to try for an upgrade next time I fly:

“I’m a single short nobody who doesn’t fly frequently.

Since you give most upgrades to newly weds, celebrities, frequent fliers and tall people why not try the opposite for once?

A tactic that did work for me, once:

While you should always get to the gate on time don’t rush to board the plane. Once I didn’t at LAX and they found my seat had been double allocated. With no spare economy seats left, and a time constraint on loading, the result was I got a business class upgrade. First in isn’t always best served!